A long time later

(forgot to get the date):

I think, mebs, I'll alternate the two blogs for whenever the writing craving hits.

First, is David Blaine for reals?

5/16/2009:

I just finished watching Cadillac Records with my folks. They've been renting movies from the library. My dad gets especially excited when it's Blu-ray. I loved Mos-Def in that movie.

And LMAO oh man, one of the first few skits of last week's SNL poked fun at moms mispronouncing celebrity names with a spoof electronic translator (http://www.hulu.com/watch/72442/saturday-night-live-mom-translator). Beyonce was in this movie, and even after I said her name two times, my mom kept pronouncing her name "bee-yon." Arr, just Beeyon teh horishon. Mom, you crazy.

For the third time, I woke up from my dream thinking it would make a great movie. I've toyed lightly with the idea of writing screenplays, only I don't know how.

Cantaloupe doesn't excite me.

Today:

For so long I wanted to believe that there was a person, or even people, out there trying to communicate with me. I clung onto that thought for so long. I think it helped me get through what I was going through... like a mental teddy bear. It would have made my whole episode, entire life even, make sense. Sense in a psychosis, ha ha. I have had fantasies writing a fictional story out of the experience, along with my fantasies of writing books or screenplays out of my more awesome dreams.

"'Cause it's fantasies and reality/baby which one are we living in?"
--Avant

I just downloaded a pile of soul music, a lil dancehall (Serani), and a lot of Ziggy Marley. I had missed unlimited downloading and a fast internet connection. There are a few thousand songs and some information on Outdoor Recreation I deem important on my portable hard drive--I would cry if it were somehow damaged.

Man, I have such little patience for writing now. I feel like I really have to make the effort to push myself to get anything done--this shiz, cleaning my room, buying a new shirt, whatever. I don't know why, but I view it as exercise that I can choose to do or not do. Lately, it's often I don't, but I am seeking to change that. Soz if my writing is sloppy or choppy. I suppose my mind trains start in simple sentences.

Okay Tsu if you're reading, sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet! Longer letters are daunting to me... haha. Also don't forget to go to the Yellow Rat Bastard store in SoHo for your Tokidoki gear, but I'll probably mention this again in your letter so no worries! Miss yas.

Good fucking God.

god.

gosh.

garsh.

gawrsh.

gawr.

grrr.

It's getting stupid hard to live in this house peacefully. This is not a normal living environment. My mom is turning into (6/10: and it ends there. dot dot dot.)

This was after my mom released her frustrations to my sister on the phone... and then me.

Hello, world. It's been a while.

Time waits for nothing...

“That’s how it works in this self-imposed Hell. All these illusions always play out and blow up in the end. If you had been with someone who had repressed the mystery of life by eating great amounts of fat, a heart attack might have ended it. The drug users eventually destroy their own bodies, the commander dies over and over, and so on.

“And it works the same way in the physical dimension: a compulsive control drama always fails, sooner or later. Usually it happens during the trials and challenges of life; routines break down and the anxiety rushes in. It is what’s called hitting bottom. This is the time to wake up and handle the Fear in another way; but if a person can’t, then he or she goes right back into the trance. And if one doesn’t wake up in the physical dimension, one might have difficulty waking up in the other as well.

“These compulsive trances account for all horrible behavior in the physical dimension. This is the psychology of all truly evil acts, the motivation behind the inconceivable behavior of child molesters, sadists, and serial monsters of all kinds. They’re simply repeating the only behavior they know that will numb the mind and keep away the anxiety that comes from the lostness they feel.”

“So you’re saying,” I interjected, “that there is no organized, conspiratorial evil in the world, no satanic plot to which we fall prey?”

“None. There is only human fear and the bizarre ways that humans try to ward it off.”

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“We have to come awake wherever we are and ask, ‘What are we creating and does it consciously serve the overall purpose for which technology was invented in the first place: to make everyday subsistence easier, so that the prevailing orientation of life can shift from mere survival and comfort to the interchange of pure spiritual information?’ Each of us has to see that we have a part in the evolution toward loser and lower subsistence costs, until finally the basic means of survival is virtually free.”

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from The Tenth Insight

from this Buddhist Thought of the Day app in iGoogs:

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I like that.

Have you read The Celestine Prophecy?

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He laughed. "No, it's fact. There's no utopia coming. Everything is getting worse out there, not better. Economically, things are swinging out of control, and eventually it will explode."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's simple demographics. For most of this century there has been a large middle class in the Western countries, a class who have promoted order and reason and carried a general faith that the economic system could work for everyone.

"But this faith is beginning to collapse now. You can see it everywhere. Fewer people very day now believe in the system, or play by the rules. And it's all because the middle class is shrinking. Technological development is making labor valueless and splitting human culture into two groups: the haves and the have-nots, those who have investments and ownership in the world economy and those who are restricted to menial, service jobs. Couple this with the failure of education and you can see the scope of the problem."

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from The Tenth Insight (the book was copywritten in 1996)

I think this is just part of the pit before the peak--the whole world is riding on a wavelength.

"At the present time, humanity is divided into two distinct and radically different perspectives. People are anthropocentric or they are biocentric. Anthropocentric people have chosen to step out of the flow for a brief period. They no longer feel the connection to their ancestors nor do they feel kinship with the children of the future. They do not even feel kinship to other non-human beings of the present. ... The biocentric person naturally takes an interest in the people of the past. Aboriginal people are well aware of the deeds and lives of their forebearers, going back hundreds of years. Anthropocentric people give little thought to the deeds and lives of their grandparents or even that of their parents. Children of all culture express an interest in those who came before them. The people of the Earth will share their knowledge of their ancestors with their children. The people who have divorced themselves from the Earth will dismiss this knowledge as unimportant." - from Earthforce!

We are weaving an elaborate history.

Does anyone else feel like there is a lot going on?

I've been hanging around this website for the past couple days:

http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org

and it's interestingly pretty much all of the spirituality I believe in, summarized neatly. I suggest you read through it carefully.

So the website's already out there; I just want to break it down into something our generation can appreciate. And broaden it a little bit.

I found it by searching for marijuana and possession and entities, trying to prove my mother wrong, but she always seems to be right about everything I'm skeptical about.

So keep in mind some of the information is not so easy to digest, but a lot of it simply makes sense.

God is not a monkey

from p25 of Earthforce! An Earth Warrior's Guide to Strategy by Captain Paul Watson

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God is the unknown, the feminine force in divine harmony with the masculine force, the is and the is not, the positive and the negative, the alpha and the omega. God is anything and everything that can be imagined. 

But the one thing God is not - is definable. Attempts by the anthropocentrics to define the unknown, to finite the infinite, have only led and continued to lead to ecological holocaust and the deaths of billions of lives.

In embracing the biocentric foundations of a natural biocentric perspective, you must abandon and dismiss the dictates of anthropocentric theologies.

The truth is not to be found in Christian icons, Judaic writings, Islamic rules, Buddhist meditation, or any of the theological inventions of humankind.

The truth can only be found by realizing that it cannot be found and that all is not knowable, that the infinite can never be comprehended by the finite.

The purpose of life is life itself. The purpose of death is rebirth. The purpose of birth is death. The immortality of humanity as in all species is to be found in the Continuum.

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If I have nothing to write, then I'm going to re-write the goodness of others. There's a lot more from this book that I want to share.